Twitter @suzannelilly
When I was a teenager, I was addicted to Dear Abby’s advice column.
Friendship on the rocks? She could tell you how to repair it. Boyfriend lying
to you? Dear Abby could fix it. Family troubles? Her advice would steer you on
the path to recovery.
Looking back, some crucial personal advice never appeared in
the Dear Abby columns, or perhaps I missed those posts. If I could stretch my
magic wand back in time to give the teen me advice, this is what I would say.
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| Image from Wikimedia Commons |
Don’t rely on your friends to
validate who you are.
I used to think my friends’
opinions were all that mattered in the world. If someone said something bad
about me behind my back, I was shattered. Now I know that we all are unique. No
one can be everything to everyone. All I should do is be the best person I
possibly can, and my actions will validate who I am.
This too shall pass.
A friend and coworker of mine had
this philosophy on life, and many times events proved the truth in this adage.
No matter how bad or how wonderful things may seem at the moment, they will
pass. Something new will come along. So hang in there! This too shall pass.
Be smart! Study hard and your
brains will take you far in life.
I knew I was smart in high school,
but I wasted my smarts trying to get into “fun” classes. I took an interior
decorating course, in which I discovered I’m color blind, I took music classes
out the wahoo, and machine shorthand. That’s those little machines court
reporters tap on during trials.
I thought it would be so glamorous to sit in a courtroom all day and transcribe notes each evening.
Mmhmm.
I even thought that might be the way to meet the perfect man.
Double mmhmm. (You may stop laughing now.)
As a result, when I went to college, I had a rude awakening and had to take remedial courses in math and science to get up to speed on my general education. Don’t be afraid to be smart in high school! Smart women have more opportunities in life. That leads me to my next point.
I thought it would be so glamorous to sit in a courtroom all day and transcribe notes each evening.
Mmhmm.
I even thought that might be the way to meet the perfect man.
Double mmhmm. (You may stop laughing now.)
As a result, when I went to college, I had a rude awakening and had to take remedial courses in math and science to get up to speed on my general education. Don’t be afraid to be smart in high school! Smart women have more opportunities in life. That leads me to my next point.
Make your vision for your own
future and go for it!
Whatever you want to do in your
life, whatever you dream, it’s possible. Plot out the steps to actualize your
dream and take those steps, one day at a time. Before you know it, your dream
will become reality. Remember, even the inchworm crept onto Noah’s ark, one
tiny step at a time.
How about you? What advice would
you give to your own teen self?
I don't know. I think your 'way to meet the perfect man' scheme was rather clever. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy teen self was incredibly shy, and she didn't realize how wonderful it was to be yourself and blaze your own trail. I would tell her to be proud of who you are. Work hard and all your dreams will come true. It may take a little longer to get to where you want to go, just don't ever give up and never lose that zest for life. Smile more at cute boys. And learn how to juggle sooner because it makes you really popular at parties. :D
I was super shy, too. I wish we all could appreciate ourselves as teenagers and have confidence in ourselves. You juggle? How cool is that? I love to watch juggling!
ReplyDeleteI do indeed juggle! There may be video evidence of that. I'll PM you. :)
DeleteGot it and was amazed by your talent!
DeleteMy advice to myself would be: stop eating junkfood, go excercise, and go to college instead of starting work at 18. I am sorry that I did not learn to become a lawyer instead of working for one, I would have liked to earn 20 times more money like they do. I am smart enough for it, I just did not like being in school.
ReplyDeleteGood advice. I ended up going back to school after my kids were in school. It was worth every late night of studying.
DeleteThis post is so funny b/c I'm doing a letter to my teenage self as a guest on my editor's blog tomorrow! I also hijacked the Delorean in my post, lol. Great advice!
ReplyDeleteWhere's your post, Jamie? I'd love to read it. That Delorean was an awesome car!
DeleteHmmmm...all good stuff, Suzanne.
ReplyDeleteI think I was lucky to go to an all-girl high school ( I KNOW, ALL girls!)because we had such freedom. Like freedom to be smart, freedom from fashion (we wore uniforms), freedom to be ourselves.
And then I moved and had to go to a co-ed school and started obsessing about what I would wear, washing my hair, shaving my legs-- and boobs. REALLY obsessed about boobs.
I'd definitely tell my high school self to quit worrying about boobs. And I'd probably mention a little something about the merits of sunscreen. And to be kind because you never know the little things that stick in a girl's memory long, long after the teen years are gone.
I'm all for all girl schools. I agree with you that it gives teen girls the freedom to be themselves without worrying about impressing boys. I worried about boobs too, mainly because I didn't have any till I was in high school!
DeleteI'd tell teen me: "Don't worry how boys see you (or don't see you) now. Someday, they'll be intimidated by you."
ReplyDeleteAlso, "Appreciate and love your body now."
That's good advice for adults, too!
ReplyDelete